The bartender only thanked my spouse when I gave her a 50% tip.
A woman had no idea what would happen during the evening when she decided to go out to supper with her husband at a restaurant one evening. When she first arrived, the bartender ignored her and instead addressed all of her complaints about the food to her husband. The bartender would only thank the woman’s husband when she left a gratuity for him later on.
In order to compose her story, a female Redditor who preferred to remain anonymous posted to the “AITA” topic on March 17, 2022. The woman revealed details of her date night with her husband, saying that the event ended very differently from how she had planned to spend the evening.
The woman proposed that one evening, after realizing that she and her husband had little interest in cooking, they head to the adjacent restaurant for a quick meal and a beverage. Her husband agreed with her choice; he was a regular patron of the eatery and visited once a week with a buddy.
The woman said she would pay the sum after telling her spouse she had cash on hand. The couple headed straight to the bar and took their seats as soon as they got to the restaurant.
The woman related her conversation with her husband, saying, “We have to make sure to tip her nice because she’s the new barmaid on the day me and pal go [sic].” “She’s the new bartender, so we better make sure to tip her well.”
From his perspective, the dinners they attended were enjoyable and they never had empty glasses.
Since OP had held a customer service job where tips were required, the sentiment resonated with her. There were no issues with her assertion, and she gave her spouse her word that she would remember it.
During their stay at the business, the couple ordered dinner and a few beverages. The bartender didn’t seem rude, but rather like he didn’t even seem to notice the woman was there. She didn’t ask whether the husband needed a box until his plate was virtually empty and the woman’s plate was still almost half full; all of her questions concerning the meal were directed solely at him.
The spouse was welcomed with wide grins and laughing, while the wife was received with a lifeless face and a monotonous manner as she approached the man. The female patron recalled, “Even though [the barman] didn’t really ask me a question, I still answered politely.”
The woman paid the bill, which came to about sixty dollars, and left a thirty dollar gratuity. She paid for everything with cash. Even though the bartender’s actions were a little off-putting, the woman decided to leave a large tip because she was used to working for tips herself and because her husband was a regular customer. In spite of the strange feelings she was receiving, she acknowledged, she always carried a drink, and the food she cooked was excellent.
But shortly after the woman took out the cash, the bartender ignored her and instead of expressing her gratitude to the wife, she said, “[Thank] you so much for doing that! It was a really enjoyable experience! This interaction caused the woman to feel quite annoyed.
“I paid the tab, and I tipped you,” the woman declared with confidence, even though the back of the bartender’s head was only 10 inches from her face. You have our gratitude. Her entire “you’re welcome” expressed a very obvious and purposeful sarcastic tone. And although the woman was quite sure the bartender had heard her chat, she strolled away coolly, never once looking in her direction. Following this discussion, the couple left the restaurant as quickly as possible.
The woman’s spouse said that the woman’s remark was improper when he was driving her home.
Since he was a regular patron of the establishment, her behavior embarrassed him. The husband, for all his good qualities, did not appear to be aware of any harshness on the part of the bartender. From his perspective, the dinners they attended were enjoyable and they never had empty glasses.
He thought that the reason for the disparity in treatment might have been the bartender’s assumption that he paid.
Technically, he was correct; nonetheless, the woman emphasized the importance of treating everyone equally, not only the person who was assumed to be the payer or the tipper, based on her experience working in an environment similar to the one he was describing.
“AITA for letting the bartender know that I was paying and leaving a tip after she only thanked my spouse?” With uncertainty about whether or not these acts were proper, the woman asked.
The woman garnered substantial support on her Reddit account, with most people identifying her as a “NTA.” Several people expressed the same impression that the bartender had treated the initial poster rudely and questioned if the tip was appropriate. Some even raised the possibility that the bartender was making out with OP’s spouse.
What are your thoughts and feelings on this story? What do you think about the way the bartender treated the woman? Do you believe the woman was perhaps taking things too seriously, or do you think it was problematic? Would you have given the bartender a tip that amounted to or above fifty percent of your entire bill if you had been treated similarly?
