Telling my husband’s ex that I’m his favorite since he chose me makes me the villain, right?
I told my husband’s former girlfriend that I must have been his favorite since we got married, but am I wrong?
With Caleb, Phoebe believed she had at last found her happily ever after. However, Patty, Caleb’s ex-girlfriend, had an unexpected response to a casual comment made at a pub one evening. As the facts became apparent, Phoebe took an unexpected turn.
When I first met Caleb, we were just silly kids with way too many freckles and silly smiles. When we first met, he was twelve. Our lives intertwined, growing at times together and at other times apart but always finding a way to come back to each other, like the roots of an ancient tree.
By the time we turned 22, we had spent more time together than most couples do in a lifetime. We ended our relationship, thinking at the time that it was for the best, but life has a funny way of making things more difficult.
Life presented us with another opportunity after 17 years. After reuniting three years ago, we have been married for slightly over two years. I’m in my forties, and though it seems far off, our past plays a crucial role in the story of Caleb and me.
“It’s unbelievable that it took us nearly twenty years to get it right.” Standing at the altar with Caleb, I laughed as I met his gaze.
“It’s better to be late than never,” he grinned. “After meeting you, Phoebe, I knew my life would never be the same. I promise to cherish and love you, and to never take advantage of our time together.
Tears welled up in my eyes. “Caleb, every moment has brought us to this point, even with our ups and downs. I swear to help you, to love you without conditions, and to see to it that we are together forever.
The ceremony was magnificent, attended by friends and family who had witnessed our on-again, off-again romance evolve. Caleb’s ex-girlfriend Patty was one of the well-wishers.
Patty and my husband called it quits on a kind note. She occasionally contacts us to wish us a joyous birthday, a Merry Christmas, and congrats on our upcoming nuptials.
One Saturday night, we decided to head out to the neighborhood bar. It was a pleasant space with muted lighting and an old-fashioned jukebox that included more tunes than new ones. We were sipping our beverages comfortably when Patty came in. She came over and grinned as she saw us.
“Hello, unfamiliar person!” She cried out, hugging Caleb and opening her eyes wide.
“Good to see you, Patty,” remarked Caleb in a kind manner.
She turned to look at me and said, “Phoebe, you look so good.”
Thanks a lot, Patty. You too.
The drinks and conversation flowed easily as we sat down together. In little time at all, we were reminiscing about the good old days.
“Do you recall when we visited that terrible karaoke bar?” Patty laughed and turned her gaze from Caleb to me.
Yes, please, God. Caleb was going to destroy the microphone, so I laughed.
“Hey, I sound like an angel,” said a happy Caleb.
As the evening wore on, the topics grew increasingly personal. Patty leaned in toward Caleb, a sly smile on her face. “At least you will always think of me as your favorite girlfriend,”
Her words hovered in the air for a time. I made myself chuckle in spite of the knot in my gut. Since I’m the one he married, shouldn’t I be his favorite girlfriend? I said it in a playful yet firm voice.
Patty’s smile disappeared. She finished her drink and sat up. “I think I’ll call the evening to a close. It’s good to see you two.
“Patty, don’t go,” Caleb started to say, but she had already turned to walk away.
Later that night, as we were finishing up, Caleb’s phone rang. Patty wrote a long letter.
“Caleb, Phoebe’s envy, immaturity, petty grudges, and meanness shocked me a lot, especially considering her age. I thought she would have greater self-assurance and confidence in your marriage. You ought to have empathy for those who are not her. You telling me all those years ago that I was your favorite girlfriend meant a lot to me. I’m not sure why she felt the need to ruin it.
Caleb groaned and rubbed his temples. “It’s unbelievable that she sent this.”
“What was sent by whom?” I asked, puzzled by Caleb’s answer.
“Patty. She texted, explaining why she was leaving the bar. And she’s making you pay for everything,” Caleb shot back, thinking over what he had said.
“But I didn’t mean to, Caleb.” I was at a loss for words.
Caleb looked up at me, a worried expression on his face. Phoebe, there was nothing wrong with you. Let me handle this for you.
I watched him carefully choosing his words as he typed a response to Patty. “Patty, I’m sorry if Phoebe’s comments upset you. However, she was just stating the truth. She is my favorite, which is precisely why I married her.
Patty took a few minutes to answer.
“She believes she’s better than me because, even with a gun to your head, you always said you’d never get married. But you were married in eight and a half months, having proposed to her in just one month. It saddens how quickly you changed for her.
Caleb groaned and went back to typing.
That isn’t true, Patty. Phoebe doesn’t think she’s better than anybody. She didn’t say anything wrong, and I sincerely apologize if you took offense. I fell in love with Phoebe again and wanted to live my entire life with her. I ask you to never speak to her in that way again and to stop spreading lies about her.
He put down his phone and looked up at me. “I hope that makes everything clear.”
“I truly never in a million years would want to hurt anyone’s feelings,” I said, shaking a little as I spoke. “I said I was your favorite because you marry the one you love. Why would you get married to someone you don’t love?
Caleb wrapped his arms around me. “You’re absolutely right. Patty is just taking care of her own issues. You’re not worthy of this.
The next morning, I went to our favorite coffee shop to meet up with my closest buddy Luna. Luna had a gift for looking at things from several perspectives.
“So, Patty is all upset because you said you’re Caleb’s favorite?” she asked, stirring her latte.
Sure, I sighed. She called me envious and petty, yet all I was doing was telling the reality. Am I doing this wrong?
“Phoebe, you didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Luna firmly declared. It could be that Patty is having some problems. She might be complaining to you since she recently went through a breakup. Don’t let it impact you.
I answered, “I guess,” still apprehensive. “It simply annoys me that she believes I’m attempting to outdo her.”
Luna reached across the table and grasped my hand. “She poses no threat. Observe how you are feeling with Caleb. Remember that he picked you.
Feeling a little relieved, I decided to focus on my day. However, Patty’s remarks persisted in bothering me in the background.
Later that evening, I found Caleb in the kitchen making dinner.
“Do you believe Patty is correct?” I asked, leaning on the counter.
Raising his gaze from the chopping board, he asked, “Roughly what?”
“about how insecure and self-centered I am. Maybe I should have said nothing at all.
Caleb put down his knife and walked over to me. Phoebe, you are the most confident and self-assured person I’ve ever encountered. Don’t let Patty’s issues make you doubt your own skills. You have every right to feel the way you do.
“I just don’t want any drama,” I moaned.
He hugged me and answered, “There won’t be any.” “The only thing that matters is that I love you.”
Next weekend we threw a small party at our house. There were Luna and a few other close friends. As we were all having a good time, my phone started to buzz. It was just another message from Patty.
I thought we had made up our minds to stay friends with Caleb. This isn’t fair, Phoebe. You’re driving me out of his life.
Luna raised an eyebrow at me when I showed her the note. “Is she really holding on to this for this long?”
“What actions should I take?” I asked, feeling torn.
“Perhaps it’s time for a face-to-face conversation with her,” Luna suggested. “Make everything clear once and for all.”
That concept unnerved me, but I knew she was right. We arranged to meet Patty at a quiet café the following day after Caleb granted his OK.
Patty was fidgeting with her coffee cup as she waited for us. She raised her look as we approached, hope and fury mingled in her eyes.
I took a big breath and muttered, “Patty.” “We are hoping to learn more about the circumstance and ourselves through this conversation. We want no bad will to exist between us.
With a snap of voice, She muttered, “I just feel like you’re taking Caleb away from me.” “We were close friends, and I feel like I’ve lost him entirely right now.”
With a gentle reply, Caleb said, “Patty, we’re not trying to push you out.” Nevertheless, things have changed. I’m married now, and Phoebe is my main priority. We can still be friends even if there must be boundaries.
Patty began to cry and remarked, “I don’t know if I can handle that.” “Observing you with someone else is difficult.”
I mutely said, “I understand.” But you have to be mindful of our relationship. Caleb and I are building a life together, and we need your support, not your interference.
Patty nodded hesitantly and wiped her tears. “I’ll try my best. To put it plainly, it will take some time.
We understand that, Caleb retorted. But now we all have to go forward. Let us first begin with caution.
As we left the café, I felt as though a weight had been lifted. It wasn’t the perfect solution, but it was a start. And for the first time in many days, I had hope for the future.
How would you have reacted if you were in my shoes?
