Family Conflicts: A Brave Step or a Too Far?
I embarrassed my ex-husband in front of his family; am I wrong?
A Reddit member shared that her family became divided after making certain revelations during a get-together. Her former spouse blames her for the separation.
A 49-year-old female Reddit user recently shared a story that has gone viral. At the outset of her story, she described the dynamics of her family and highlighted how betrayal and isolation had destroyed them.
The mother of three, known as the Original Poster (OP), was previously married to 53-year-old Jake. The former couple welcomed their sons Knox, 25, and Karter, 21, along with their daughter Kyle, 18. When OP fell pregnant with the couple’s third child, things didn’t go as planned.
Their marriage broke down after Jake had an affair with Abigail, his considerably younger assistant who was a freshman in college at the age of eighteen. The affair led to the pregnancy, and in the end, OP made the decision to forgo reconciliation.
Later on, Abigail gave birth to her daughter Lizzie. As a result, OP’s decision to divorce the father of her children enabled Abigail and Jake to get married and have two more children, which further complicated the dynamics within the family.
The author details Jake’s scant post-divorce involvement in their children’s life, including his sporadic visits and payment of child support but not his consistent, substantial involvement.
She stated, “He only saw them once a month and paid child support.” When the children came to him with requests, he would comply, but he wouldn’t return their calls until he realized their mother had stepped in.
His distance grew to the point that he would only go to significant occasions in the kids’ life when his own family insisted on him doing so.
Jake’s goals seems to have been shaped by his well-known solicitor mother and aunts. OP revealed:
“There is not much depth in his family. People will perceive persons without a high position with little respect. Furthermore, they will chastise you for bringing the family into disrepute because all forms of gossip are unacceptable.
The dishonesty of Jake’s actions became evident when OP revealed how, although the truth was obviously different, he boasted to his family about his involvement in their children’s life.
This facade held until an unintentional invitation to a family vacation exposed the truth. According to OP, her sons and daughter were first upset when they witnessed their father going on family vacations without them.
But eventually, they accepted it when Jake told them that his half-sister Lizzie only got to go on one family vacation a year, while his mother only permitted them to go on two.
According to OP, he told his family why the older kids didn’t want to go on the trip. But at a family Christmas dinner, Kyle heard Lizzie discussing with her great-aunts about a planned trip to the Dominican Republic.
Lizzie began by describing their departure and then said that their father had informed her that Kyle and her brothers were already getting ready. But Kyle corrected her, saying it was not true, and she said she wished to come with her and her two older siblings.
To be clear, OP said she has never felt comfortable enough to allow Jake to take the kids on a lengthy trip away from her. Abigail, his wife, was unhappy when she went on vacation with them because of this. As OP and her in-laws remain amicable, there was no awkward moment.
Thus, the children’s achievements and future aspirations were discussed at dinner. When OP’s daughter informed her paternal grandma that she had secured an internship at a tech company, everyone wished her well.
Kyle and her brother Karter attend a prestigious college, while their older brother Knox is enrolled in medical school. The talk led to Lizzie’s pregnancy, which startled everyone in attendance.
“Everyone’s face fell to the floor, including Jakes,” according to OP, and their loved ones started to question Jake and Abigail’s ability to parent. Jake attempted to blame Lizzie for his family’s disappointment after realizing how unhappy they were.
He continued by saying that it is evident how well he reared his children from his first marriage because they have succeeded thus far. But after becoming tired of the constant lies, OP clarified the circumstances.
“I got tired of the lies and told them how he was only there to look good in front of his family when they weren’t there,” she recalled. Kyle, the daughter of OP, openly addressed her father’s neglect as a result of the revelation, which made her leave the dinner in tears.
In response to what transpired that night, Jake charged OP with sabotage and held her responsible for the strife in the family. Despite the accusation, OP decided not to look into it further, so it remained publicly acknowledged but unsolved.
She acknowledged that she didn’t feel that way about how she handled the situation during the family get-together when she went to the Reddit site and wrote, “I do feel bad because it probably wasn’t the time or place.”
Was the person who made fun of her ex-husband in front of his family members incorrect? If you were the OP, how would you have answered?
