Before he passed away, my ex-husband sent me a flash drive; I can’t forgive myself for divorcing him.
Katherine led a tranquil existence. She was forty-three years old, single, and spent her days reading, working, and taking leisurely strolls in the park. But on Thursday, she discovered an unexpected envelope in her mail, upsetting her peace of mind.Among the regular bills and catalogs, the envelope stuck out. It felt hefty, but it was plain. Within, she found a flash drive bearing the name “Tom” scrawled on it. Tom was her high school love and the man she had split up with over 15 years ago. Her pulse pounded faster, and she froze, fixating on his name. What might this signify?
At sixteen, Tom and Katherine were too young to fully comprehend life, yet mature enough to fall in love, or so they believed. Throughout high school, they were inseparable and were seen as the ideal couple. They tied the knot shortly after graduating from college, carrying on what seemed like a fantasy.Katherine inserted the flash drive into her computer while shaking her hands. She clicked on the folder, her heart pounding. All it contained was a single video file. She hesitated for a second before pressing play, her curiosity and profound sense of dread driving her. Tom wasn’t the Tom she recalled when he came on the screen. Her chest constricted at the paleness of his face, the weariness in his eyes, and the fragility in his voice. He started talking, staring directly into her and the camera. “Katherine, if you’re watching this, it means I’m probably gone,” he uttered, his voice quivering. I became seriously ill, and I won’t be able to recover. I wanted you to remember me for who I was, not for this, which is why I didn’t want to tell you earlier. As Katherine heard him pour forth his emotions, tears ran down her face. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us and everything we’ve been through. Katherine, you were the love of my life. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was let go of you, and I regret it every day since. He stopped and drew a long, trembling breath. “I genuinely do understand if you’ve moved on. But I had to let you know how I really felt. I don’t have many possessions to leave behind, but the ones I do have, I want you to have. Not wanting it is also acceptable. Give it to a worthy cause or something important, perhaps.However, reality is not a fantasy. Katherine began to feel as though their little village was a cage. She desired more—more locations, more acquaintances, and more adventures. But Tom was happy enough with their home, their routines, and their life. Katherine’s desire for change increased along with her arguments because she felt constrained and strangled by the familiarity. She eventually requested for a divorce because she could no longer bear it. Though she believed it was essential for them both, it was the toughest choice she had ever taken. Their lives needed to be repaired, and they separated with broken hearts.He gave a meek smile and a farewell at the end of the video. With the atmosphere quiet surrounding her, Katherine sat there in shock. She could hear the thumping of her heart in her ears. She was struck with shock as Tom’s comments continued to weigh on her. He may have even been ill. No, she wasn’t ready to consider it. She frantically shut off her laptop and grabbed her phone. If there was still time, she needed to locate him, speak with him, and see him. As she flipped through her contacts, her fingers trembled, but Tom’s number had long since vanished. Who knows? Who stayed in contact with him? She recalled John as a close college friend of Tom’s who occasionally shared posts on Facebook. He might be able to assist. She was typing a message to him while shaking hands and fumbling over her words. It’s Katherine, John. I really need your assistance. What is Tom’s current location? Could he be in a hospital? Please share any knowledge you may have.
must see him.” As she waited for the seen indication to light up, she hit send, her heart lowering. The time was passing slowly, and every tick of the clock served as a harsh reminder that it might not last forever. Her phone buzzed a few minutes after she sent the message. With a brief but impactful response, John said, “Katherine, I’m so sorry.” Tom died last week. There was a small gathering of friends for the service. You found a package left by him. It is en route to you.She repeatedly read the message, feeling every word pierce her heart more deeply. As it dawned on her that this was all final, tears clouded her eyesight. It was too late for her. Remorse was an unbearable pain that was a combination of grief and guilt. Why hadn’t she contacted me earlier? Could she have improved his final days? She was plagued by thoughts that echoed endlessly, reminding her of time lost and chances lost. She struggled for days to decide what to do next. As a parting gift of his love and forgiveness, Tom had left her some items. She realized that she had to do what he wanted. Tom had given her a little wooden box with several small treasures buried under layers of old, yellowed wrapping paper. She was immediately transported back to those carefree days when everything seemed full of promise and their love was brand-new. Her fingers skimmed upon a little, discolored movie ticket stub from their very first viewing together. Grinning, she recalled Tom’s insistence on preserving it as a memento of their first date. Their mutual laughing was as memorable as the forgettable movie. There was a tiny seashell under the ticket. During their first adventure together, an impromptu road trip to the seaside, they had discovered it on the beach. Tom had jokingly tucked it into her hair and referred to her as his “mermaid.” It was an innocent and endearing moment that she had almost forgotten.And lastly, there was a picture of them from their final meeting prior to the divorce. Despite their stress, they were trying to grin for the camera at a friend’s BBQ. Now that she looked at it, she could see the melancholy in their eyes and the silent understanding that their adventure together was coming to an end. However, even at that final moment of saying goodbye, there was affection and a resistance to parting. These tiny gems, each representing a portion of their common past, were now resting in her palms, weighing heavily from all the years and unspoken conversations. Beyond being mere items, they represented pieces of a life that might have been and served as a moving reminder of the love that once infused her surroundings. Katherine finally plucked up the guts to go see his grave. The leaves provided a vibrant pop of color against the gloomy grays of the cemetery on this crisp autumn day. She brought a message she’d written in response to his video, and daisies, which were his favorite flower. She started, “Dear Tom,” her hand shaking as she pressed the letter up against his headstone’s chilly stone. “I looked at your video. I experienced every feeling and phrase. I really apologize for everything—for abandoning you, for not being present, and for the years I lost. I am very grateful for your affection, the memories, and this final present. I sincerely hope you are able to pardon me as well as me. I shall always have a small portion of you with me.She felt a light breeze as she got up, leaving the letter and the flowers behind. She felt at ease in the midst of the past’s murmurs at that very moment. Now was the moment to proceed, bearing Tom’s memories and a heart that was prepared to mend.
